Testimony

This morning in the Hello Mornings 1 John bible study, one of the questions talked about a testimony, and if we had shared ours. I have not shared my testimony with many people and thought I would today. 

I grew up in a household where God and Jesus was talked about daily, but I never really truly knew him for myself until recently. A few months ago I felt as if my world was collapsing. I was suffering from severe anxiety and depression. It was so bad that just getting out of the bed was a chore. I spent most of my time in my bed angry at the world, and depressed. Then in the mist of all this I found out that my boyfriend had cheated on me numerous time, and we ended up going through a messy breakup. This really broke my heart because he was the last person I thought would do this, and it turns out I did not really know him at all. It is true what they say, God will knock you down in order to get your attention. 

You would think that after all this I would have run to God and given him my life. I did run to him but I did not give him complete control. Instead I choose to still do my own thing and try to fix things my way. Needless to say it did not work, I continued to wrestle with God for control over my life, until it finally hit me that I can not do this alone. None of the progress I have made was because of myself, but rather through God. I am a totally different person than I was about 6 or 7 months ago. Anxiety and depression no longer rule my life, and I am learning  that the single life is a great time to get closer to God, and prepare to be a wife. The most important thing that I have learned from my journey is that walking with God is not a one day decision, but an everyday battle that we can only win by sticking with him.